Happy New Year Friends!

I believe every day is a new beginning. We never have to wait for a New Year to start to start a new us, but there is something about the end of something that inspires us to begin something and so it is that we celebrate the beginning of this New Year that is upon us.
I don’t know why, but for me there is is something quite magical about the numbers 2-0-1-6.
As frightening as the world may feel right now, I believe there is a spiritual shift taking place that is going to be spectacular, depending on how we choose to look at it. Why do I feel this? Because I have been experiencing the discomfort that many of you have also been feeling, There’s no doubt about it, shifting is uncomfortable.
Every bump along the way has meaning. Every hurt you have endured counts for something. You may not be exactly where you want to be, but you are where you need to be until you get there, even if it doesn’t make sense today.
I call these back door Blessings.
On Christmas day, we decided to drive to Las Vegas from Los Angeles because we assumed no one would be on the road. We were wrong. A 4 hour drive took us almost 8 and when we pulled off the road in Victorville to get something to eat at the In N Out Burger, we had missed a fatal shooting at the In N Out parking lot by a half hour. Yellow tape all around the parking lot. Back door Blessing. I didn’t complain about the traffic after that. I was right where I was supposed to be. God is in control.
As I write this, I am about to face a challenge someone is wrongly putting me through. It is upsetting, but I am not going to get myself sick over it. I am doing everything I can, and going through it has taught me a valuable lesson. People are not always who they pretend to be. People have agendas. Not everyone has a pure heart, and that is not to make me change, but to simply make me learn a painful lesson. Run background checks on people. But in spite of this, I am calm. Why? God’s in control and I am a girl of Faith. He has my back.
In life, Don’t allow things and people to take you down. If you aren’t getting championed, then be your own champion until you get the support you need. I promise you, in my lifetime, I have pretty much emotionally been everywhere anyone who is reading this has been. I am not writing this from my head, I am writing this from my heart.
God has your back. If you live a life of integrity, tell the truth, do what’s right, take care of your business, your life will work.
The thing that has changed my life is simply this… Three little words:
“Do what’s right.” Always. No exceptions. Even when others aren’t. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Act right. Tell the truth and nothing but. Accept the truth and nothing but. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate, even if it is not what the other person wants to hear. Be a big person. Resist the need to be right or to “win,” because really, at the end of the game, what’s the prize? Learn to draw personal boundaries with people, especially people you are in relationships with. Most of us aren't taught that at home or in school. Refuse passive-aggressive behavior (being mad at people and not telling them why but acting it out and being cold and insulting) Refuse to give passive aggressive behavior, learn to express yourself clearly, calmly, and stay in control of those emotions during discussions. You will find yourself more often in the cat-bird seat, you will also be far more focused, definitely respect yourself more, probably surprise yourself, maybe even get some of that respect for breakfast tomorrow. Resist the urge to try to control anyone but you. It’s a thankless job, grossly underpaying, and as I said, there is no prize. Control is all an illusion anyway. You can’t control another human being. Well, you can, but they will hate you for it.
Be good to the people who are/were good to you. Be fair. Resist the urge to enable. My rule of thumb is simply this: When we do for another what they can and should be, doing for themselves, it’s not how we help another person, it’s how we cripple a soul. It's as bad as alcoholism or a gambling addiction and it doesn't just take you down, but it takes down every relationship around you.
If we are to live a life of integrity and authenticity, we must be transparent. Put down our nonsense. Stop believing what we’ve been told about ourselves, and become who we want to be. Learn to say no. Grow up and let others do the same. We are not children anymore. We get to be who we want to be.
If you have been through a lot of stuff lately, just know that you have probably been through a Back Door Blessing. God is in Charge, but you have to do your part.
Have Faith. You’re where you’re supposed to be. Welcome 2016. We await you with open arms. We believe and Declare this to be our BEST YEAR EVER!

Can I get an Amen?

“Do not be afraid to color outside the lines. Take risks and do not be afraid to fail. Know that when the world knocks you down, the best revenge is to get up and continue forging ahead.Do not be afraid to be different or to stand up for what's right. Never quiet your voice to make someone else feel comfortable. No one remembers the person that fits in. It's the one who stands out that people will not be able to forget.”

                                                                                --Nancy Arroyo Ruffin

I JUST got back from my 2015 Comedy Hypnosis SUmmer Tour and immediately got gobsmacked with the flu. Being trapped in bed has its perks, you get to actually think!

Notes and thoughts from my bed…Being sick  is a good time for reflection.

As I am laying here thinking, I realize that I have never shared this about myself: I have ADHD.  

Yep, my mind moves at a million frames a second. It has taken an enormous amount of effort to be able to get control of it over the years. By trial and error, I have discovered all kinds of neat tricks to get refocused and use the elements of ADHD that are actually assets, but there are some things that never change and I am okay with that too. I misplace my glasses, phone and keys, and often can't remember why I walked into a room. And so what??

People with ADD or ADHD are often extremely creative people and usually very giving and open. We are sometimes misunderstood, misdiagnosed or never diagnosed at all.

It's just that the "bright shiny objects" can be distracting, and most everything can be a bright shiny object, or as my friend Scott says... "Squirrel!!"  I have to constantly focus and refocus to stay on track with things in order to see them through to completion, especially if there are things going on causing me stress outside of the norm.

For someone who deals with this, I am proud to say that I have managed to accomplish quite a bit and never at the sacrifice of anyone else.  

I have been Captain of my ship with my Chief Officer being our Almighty God, guiding me and championing me to each and every beginning and finish line. We have a wonderful partnership and love each other a lot.

But recently, under some very severe and real stress, I was having a rough couple of days focusing, when I had a friend very sharply snap at me (as if I was a child) "YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION!!"

I immediately felt like the 5 year old standing in my parents living room. I can think of other times and places I'd rather go back to.

 It was a startling moment. I stood there trying to understand it. No apology was forthcoming. It never came,  I'm guessing I wasn't focused enough for her comfort level. I shut down immediately.  After poking my head out of my shell, I immediately started to access how I was feeling. I find it's always best to get out of the thinking mind and into the feelings. You start to understand what's happening and make note of it as a learning curve for the future.

I have noticed that with age, I can easily let this mouth open and something awful but truthful will come out, so I have learned not to let my emotions run the show. Mind management is everything and that's why I am in it.  The best teachers teach what they know.

I am happy, I have a good life, I am well accomplished, I am blessed, so why did this upset me so much?

Within a few hours, it came to me.  I know I didn't deserve any person in my face over anything, and also because it was rude and inappropriate. 

*sigh* You never know a persons struggles.

It seems ADD is on the rise these days.  I meet and speak with hundreds of people every Summer after my shows. Anxiety and frustration from ADD is the thing I see and hear about the most. Maybe it's because we live in such a sound-bite world.  Everything moves so fast. We are accessible 24/7 and never feel like we can really turn off our cell phones, computers and the like.  

And, As my sister-in-law Carrie says, "Instant gratification isn't fast enough."

We don't get to go home after work and take a break until the next morning anymore, because people expect to be able to reach us all the time. Worse, we feel somehow obligated to comply with this madness. I have gotten good at taking my time and getting back to someone when I feel like it, or have the time, whichever comes first. Unless of course, it's urgent, and I will be the judge of that :)

So back to the moment of clarity...

If you know someone with ADD, please be patient with them. We are doing our best and the need for others to control the situation isn't helping. You see, when someone make a comment like that, all it does is shut another down.

Being a forever student of the mind, becoming a hypnotist and learning how this incredible Gift called our mind works, has allowed me to exponentially help not only myself, but others as well.  It is no mystery as to why people love the experience of hypnosis because for once, that chattering mind stops and refocuses on something fun or meaningful. People, including me, get to wake up to life at its fullest.

People with any level of ADD or ADHD  want to do better, and more often than not are doing their best.  Any hardships we have to walk through need to count for something. ADD has made me a more patient and compassionate human being.  It's also the hallmark of most great entrepreneurs, how about that!? If I were "normal" you probably wouldn't be reading this (or any of my books) watching my shows or wearing my makeup!

If it is you who is facing challenges such as this, or OCD or any other label, I understand you. It's okay to let people know how you feel. In fact, one of my favorite things I like to do when I am with a group of friends at dinner is ask them, "Okay everyone, we all have one, so... what is your OCD? I'll go first"..  and I do.

 At first, people feel awkward, and then walls come down and the stories start spilling out and we are all laughing about our wonderful oddities. Knowing we are not as different as we think we are helps us laugh at something that may have caused us a great deal of pain and anxiety when we were younger. Forget about it.

There is good news for all of us. It can work for you if you aren't "normal" you just have to know how to guide it. My good friend and well-known Doctor of Psychiatry and Author Dr. Dale Archer has written a ground breaking book about just that, titled, Better Than Normal, how what makes you different, can make you exceptional. 

Did you hear that? We're exceptional!  Embrace it!  Yay!   SQUIRREL!!

Love For Sure,

Cat

 BTW... what's your OCD?