Enjoy Heaven My Angel

Posted on August 28, 2013 by Catherine Hickland | 20 Comments

 

"Love and appreciate your parents. We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old." -Unknown

A few shorts days ago, I lost my Mom due to a long-time illness brought on by a series of strokes.

My mother was a vibrant, sassy, sometimes bitchy, and incredibly funny lady.

She was 91, in a lot of pain, and even still, retained her sense of humor to the very end. I was telling her funny stories about being on the road with my pet chicken for seven weeks, and every call always started out with her asking, "How’s the chicken?"

I told her that the chicken was my "Henny Boo Boo," and she laughed as much as she had strength for. Only people who know and love me would understand why on Earth I would drive across the country with a chicken, and she got me completely.


My mom was really strict, and you didn’t dare cross her. I had a curfew, which was 11:00PM during high school on weekends, and if I came back at 11:01pm, I was going to have to sleep outside in the wet grass; that was that.

She was a tough negotiator because it was her way or no way. I slept outside a few times, but only a few.

It taught me to be on time, be respectful, and live by rules and boundaries, which were there for my own good.

Relationships between mothers and daughters can be complicated. She did things that drove me nuts, but I did the same with her I am sure. Being a mother isn’t easy.

To the end she was vintage Mom. She waited until my seven week tour was finished and I got back safely before she let go.

My last words to her were,  "I Love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."


And I guess that was all she needed to hear. She had always said she wanted to go in her sleep, and so she did, I am grateful for that.

When a person is ill, and dying over an extended period of time, it’s hard on them and hard on us. It’s painful to know they are ready to leave their human suit and move on to their spiritual life but aren’t able to exit until they are called.

When they finally do get to go home, it leaves those of us who loved and knew them feeling alternately sad and relieved all at once. The sadness seems to prevail after the initial shock wears off, but this is an appropriate emotion for the monumental loss of a loved one.

I feel blessed to have her as long as we did.

Motor response is a funny thing, as in the past dew days I have woken up and said, “Oh gosh I need to call Mom, its getting late back on the East Coast,” only to remember that the time change from here to Heaven is not nearly as long.

I simply stop what I am doing, go outside and talk to her. It’s instantaneous. If I stop and quiet my mind, I can feel her presence in my heart and she feels good there. She is now part of the great I am, at one with everything and present everywhere in my life.

I am grateful she lived to see me accomplish my goals, and dream new dreams. She was so happy to see me fall in love and marry a great man, as a mother always wishes that for her children.

Mary, this one’s for you. Thank you for bringing me into this big world, I am so grateful for my life.


Imagine all of the people who wouldn’t be here if not for you! It’s going to be weird not to have to remember to send you a tube of Pounce once in awhile…

Enjoy Heaven My Angel.  

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

-Your "Little Thing"

Posted in Inspirations


Get back to peace

Coincidence

20 Responses

Alison Gorman

November 05, 2013

Mary Hickland, God love you. You were one of my Mom’s best friends and Oh, how we loved to visit you. I lost her, too in 2009 at the age of 86. We talked of you so often and we always laughed. She also had a rough time having had a broken back from a senseless fall, several heart attacks and strokes, but the two of you were tough gals and I know you two are up there looking down on us and watching over us. Just so you know, remember your beautiful Italian yellow flowered chandelier you gave to Mom, she cherished it all of her life and now it hangs above my desk. She would always say, “my friend Mary Hickland gave me that beautiful lamp”. She loved you Mary, and so did I. You were her very dear friend. With Love across time, Alison

Ruth

November 01, 2013

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Cat. My deepest sympathies on the loss of your beloved mother. I am going down that same road, as I have been the sole caregiver for my mother since she had a stroke over 9 years ago. I see the decline, yet want her to be able to stay so bad. It’s a bittersweet journey…as we don’t want to see them suffer, yet there is that part of us that don’t want to let go. I attended a Memorial Service for my Godmother this morning, and didn’t realize how hard it would hit me. I am sure that we all share the same feelings of thanks, for you to share such personal feelings with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Colleen

October 08, 2013

Your story made me cry.. I am so sorry for your loss. My best friend, my Mother, Alice Rankin passed away last November. She had always said to me " Not even death can separate us.." I find some peace by thinking this, She was the first person that ever held my hand as I entered this world.. So how fitting was it that I should be holding her’s as she quietly slipped out of it. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story…

Sandy

September 07, 2013

I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. I have tears coming down right now as I’m typing and thinking of the pain she was in. Mothers are truly special. Thank you for this beautiful tribute for us to read. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Bless you Cat. Sincerely, Sandy

cindee

September 04, 2013

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my husband of 40 years, my only childhood friend of 46 years and my beautiful mother all in a matter of a few months apart. I will always feel blessed having such wonderful people in my life. I will always feel a void in my heart but i know they are still with me on earth, always watching over me. Your mother is still with you and loving you always. God bless you. Sincerely, cindee

Alexandra Harenberg

September 04, 2013

Cat,

Your story is not only inspiring, but beautiful. I feel the same way with my mother. There were times when I was growing up when she would punish me even for the smallest offence; and, in my immature mind, I was sure that she despised me.

Boy, was I wrong.

My mother was strict because she loved me more than anything and anyone on this earth, as she does to this day. We are as close as sisters…Cat, there are even times when people confuse us for sisters.

Is it possible to have a guardian angel as a parent?

My momma is my best friend, even now when I am twenty two years old. And she will continue to be forever.

Thank you for inspiring me and making me feel wonderful on this extraordinary day God has given me. You are a wonderful lady.

Deirdre

September 01, 2013

Cradle to grave; there is no one more impactful to our lives than our Moms.
Thank you for giving me life, for giving me love, for giving me wisdom and for giving me memories that sustain me until I see you again. I love you, Mom.

Connie

August 31, 2013

My dad died in June…it was one of the most difficult things in our lives to watch this tough man grow frail and then live out the last few months of his life in a hospital…it was almost a relief for him to be free of his body. It did him well during his life here. And now he can be with my mom again. And yes, I can be still and talk to them. I am sorry for your loss, sorry for the times you will ache to see her, hear her voice…but I am grateful you know you still have her. What a journey this thing called life is!

Julie

August 31, 2013

Cat,

So sorry to hear about your Mom! I lost my mother when I was 31. Prayers for you xoxo

Brad Saiontz

August 31, 2013

Cat,
You know how I feel about you. We both had tough no nonsense mothers. I am happy you are at peace with the situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

sharon hammond

August 30, 2013

I cannot tell you how your words are affecting me. I have not lost my Mother, but she is very ill and I take care of her every need….watching her in pain is so hard, and the day to day stress of seeing her everyday is hard…I cherish every day I have left with her but what you said about missing her but also feeling a sense of relief really hit a nerve…quality of life is important I think and right now we are just managing her to get through the day…she is tough but pain is a hard thing to fight…..so, I will come and read this again when it is my time for grieving and I am sure your words will bring me comfort….sorry for your loss….

Janet

August 30, 2013

I lost my Mom one year and 7 months ago, she was 89 yrs. old, we were so close and I love her so much. I still talk to her and to this day I still tear up missing her so much. There are times, many times when you need your Mom and realize she is not there to confide in or just to talk too. I don’t think this type of pain ever goes away, when she died a part of me died with her. I know she is at peace now, but that doesn’t make you miss your Mom any less. Cat, I know what you are going through and my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Sheila Kerns

August 30, 2013

Your mom was beautiful to the very end. I am glad you got to be with her and tell her how you felt about her before she passed. God bless you.

Beth And Marilyn Moore

August 30, 2013

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. We just lost our 93 year old mother in law. A great lady from that wonderful generation of people with simple greatness that we will never, try as we may, live up to. You expressed the exact feelings we have. Thank you for putting them into words.

Vanessa Rivers

August 29, 2013

Brought years to my eyes. Your mom is so proud of you! Love you Cat! xo

Big Kat

August 29, 2013

Dear Cat,

So sorry to hear about Mary. She was definitely full of life and did have a sense of humor
that was always there. Well, maybe not always, ha. But when it counted. (And often subtle.)
Heaven will enjoy her arrival!

I was just rereading your July letter, buy enjoy them all, because it brings back many pleasant memories and good times and friends. Plus, you are wonderfully inspirational.
You have lived a big life, Cat! But, we all knew you would!!!

I just noticed a Hello, Big Kat, so if I am the only Big Kat you know, I’m always here and
follow your trail,…which has been difficult at times as I have lost my Fort lauderdale contacts. Wow, it has been a long time! But your “Notebook” stories are awaited every month.

Is that Kim with you and Mary? I talked to Bobby a few years ago, but have lost contact with him. Really enjoyed talking to him. And, so happy to see you so happy, and do have to smile at some of your stories as I can picture them and you.

I am now living in Tampa. 813-990-8036 or realkat@tampabay.rr.com.
Big hugs and love, always,
Big Kat

Patti

August 29, 2013

Cat,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my Mom in 2009. I appreciate what you said about time zones and the short distance between here and Heaven.
Patti

Linda Wenger

August 29, 2013

Cat,
I wanted to tell you that I just read your lovely tribute to your Mom. What a nice way to remember her and share with others. I truly enjoyed knowing and working with Mary years ago. She was a Hoot and always had us cracking up! You were blessed to have your Mom for all these years. So sorry for your loss.

Christine

August 29, 2013

Wishing you and your family peace. The last thing my Mom did before she passed was touch my cheek, telling me it was the first thing she did when I was born and the last thing she would do now. She passed 15 months after a stroke revealed she had lung, kidney, bladder, spine and brain cancer. While it was painful knowing she was going to leave us, it was more painful knowing how much she suffered to stay here with us. I hope they both are pain-free and at peace now, knowing we are strong and happy.

Faith Bodden

August 29, 2013

Rest in Peace, Mary. Your spirit lives on!

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