Enjoy Heaven My Angel

20 comments

 

"Love and appreciate your parents. We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old." -Unknown

A few shorts days ago, I lost my Mom due to a long-time illness brought on by a series of strokes.

My mother was a vibrant, sassy, sometimes bitchy, and incredibly funny lady.

She was 91, in a lot of pain, and even still, retained her sense of humor to the very end. I was telling her funny stories about being on the road with my pet chicken for seven weeks, and every call always started out with her asking, "How’s the chicken?"

I told her that the chicken was my "Henny Boo Boo," and she laughed as much as she had strength for. Only people who know and love me would understand why on Earth I would drive across the country with a chicken, and she got me completely.


My mom was really strict, and you didn’t dare cross her. I had a curfew, which was 11:00PM during high school on weekends, and if I came back at 11:01pm, I was going to have to sleep outside in the wet grass; that was that.

She was a tough negotiator because it was her way or no way. I slept outside a few times, but only a few.

It taught me to be on time, be respectful, and live by rules and boundaries, which were there for my own good.

Relationships between mothers and daughters can be complicated. She did things that drove me nuts, but I did the same with her I am sure. Being a mother isn’t easy.

To the end she was vintage Mom. She waited until my seven week tour was finished and I got back safely before she let go.

My last words to her were,  "I Love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."


And I guess that was all she needed to hear. She had always said she wanted to go in her sleep, and so she did, I am grateful for that.

When a person is ill, and dying over an extended period of time, it’s hard on them and hard on us. It’s painful to know they are ready to leave their human suit and move on to their spiritual life but aren’t able to exit until they are called.

When they finally do get to go home, it leaves those of us who loved and knew them feeling alternately sad and relieved all at once. The sadness seems to prevail after the initial shock wears off, but this is an appropriate emotion for the monumental loss of a loved one.

I feel blessed to have her as long as we did.

Motor response is a funny thing, as in the past dew days I have woken up and said, “Oh gosh I need to call Mom, its getting late back on the East Coast,” only to remember that the time change from here to Heaven is not nearly as long.

I simply stop what I am doing, go outside and talk to her. It’s instantaneous. If I stop and quiet my mind, I can feel her presence in my heart and she feels good there. She is now part of the great I am, at one with everything and present everywhere in my life.

I am grateful she lived to see me accomplish my goals, and dream new dreams. She was so happy to see me fall in love and marry a great man, as a mother always wishes that for her children.

Mary, this one’s for you. Thank you for bringing me into this big world, I am so grateful for my life.


Imagine all of the people who wouldn’t be here if not for you! It’s going to be weird not to have to remember to send you a tube of Pounce once in awhile…

Enjoy Heaven My Angel.  

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

-Your "Little Thing"

20 comments

sharon hammond
sharon hammond

I cannot tell you how your words are affecting me. I have not lost my Mother, but she is very ill and I take care of her every need….watching her in pain is so hard, and the day to day stress of seeing her everyday is hard…I cherish every day I have left with her but what you said about missing her but also feeling a sense of relief really hit a nerve…quality of life is important I think and right now we are just managing her to get through the day…she is tough but pain is a hard thing to fight…..so, I will come and read this again when it is my time for grieving and I am sure your words will bring me comfort….sorry for your loss….

Janet
Janet

I lost my Mom one year and 7 months ago, she was 89 yrs. old, we were so close and I love her so much. I still talk to her and to this day I still tear up missing her so much. There are times, many times when you need your Mom and realize she is not there to confide in or just to talk too. I don’t think this type of pain ever goes away, when she died a part of me died with her. I know she is at peace now, but that doesn’t make you miss your Mom any less. Cat, I know what you are going through and my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Sheila Kerns
Sheila Kerns

Your mom was beautiful to the very end. I am glad you got to be with her and tell her how you felt about her before she passed. God bless you.

Beth And Marilyn Moore
Beth And Marilyn Moore

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. We just lost our 93 year old mother in law. A great lady from that wonderful generation of people with simple greatness that we will never, try as we may, live up to. You expressed the exact feelings we have. Thank you for putting them into words.

Vanessa Rivers
Vanessa Rivers

Brought years to my eyes. Your mom is so proud of you! Love you Cat! xo

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