I look forward to 2018, because I get to start over again. We all get to start over again. We don’t need to wait for a new year to do that. Every day is a new day and the good news is that we get to start over as many times as we need to.
The end of a year almost always has a way of getting me to unzip my human suit, check in with my soul, shine the klieg light on all of my pains and shortcomings, and ask myself what needs to change.
As my mentor says, “you’re only in control of so much, so be in control of it,” and boy oh boy is that true.
It’s a tight wire act, being gentle with ourselves while taking a good, hard look at what we can do to make ourselves better, face the losses we have experienced, and bring more happiness, peace, and prosperity into our day-to-day living. But before that can happen, we must empty the cup that holds our anger and upsets, if we are to pour anything new into it.
Sometimes the message we knew, but forgot, comes in the most unexpected ways.
The other night I happened upon a film that was made many years ago, but somehow never saw it until now. In the film, a woman decided she didn’t like the direction her life was headed in, and could not take another day of it as it was. She made drastic changes.
She was unzipping her human suit.
She was living in silent desperation and needed to find peace and understanding, so she took a year off to live in 3 different countries to find her self.
The film is a true story from the best selling book, Eat. Pray. Love.
So many things in that movie moved me, but the scene that spoke the loudest was when Julia Roberts character would get completely undone over her lingering negative feelings of missing her ex boyfriend, which could be a metaphor for just about anything.
Her friend at the ashram told her, “So, miss him, and drop it.”
That line of dialogue got my attention. That was me.
Not the missing the ex boyfriend part, for me that line was a metaphor for many things that have been my kryptonite. The ‘dropping it’ part was what became so difficult. I realized that I was filled with the heavy weight of a full year of not ‘dropping it.’ I felt it, but instead of dropping it, I wore it like a bad suit.
Then I put it in the bank, and collected interest on it. I was invested in my upset, and I didn’t even know it.
Our feelings, no matter no matter how negative or positive, are not something to run from, but rather, to run to. ‘Feel the feeling and drop it.’ Just remember to do the ‘drop it’ part. This reminds me of the old Slim Fast commercials, “all you have to do is have a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and eat a sensible dinner.” IF I knew how to eat a sensible dinner I wouldn’t need the shakes. In other words, at first, it’s easier said then done. But it is do-able, and surprisingly, not as difficult as it seems.
Your well being depends on it.
So often we do not want to cry when we are sad, hurt, or grieving. We are taught that we have to man up, or even worse, “suck it up.” Ugh. If anyone ever uses that line on you, beware. There is no fun to be had with a person who uses that phrase. My God, sucking it up is what makes us emotionally ill.
As I write this, it is 15 minutes to 2018.
This past year was a rough and challenging year for so many.
But, it was also a year of revelations, undeniable truths, and a lot of grieving. Grief is the one thing that I can’t just feel and drop it. I am not sure we are supposed to. There comes a day you just do. You keep the good memories but drop the misery.
For example, my Nugget has been gone a year and a half and I still grieve him every single day. I don’t cry every single day, I just miss him.
I miss my Mom, I miss my Mother in Law. But loss and hurt are a part of life and we must give them their due. We don’t have to live there forever.