"Love and appreciate your parents. We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old." -Unknown
A few shorts days ago, I lost my Mom due to a long-time illness brought on by a series of strokes.
My mother was a vibrant, sassy, sometimes bitchy, and incredibly funny lady.
She was 91, in a lot of pain, and even still, retained her sense of humor to the very end. I was telling her funny stories about being on the road with my pet chicken for seven weeks, and every call always started out with her asking, "How’s the chicken?"
I told her that the chicken was my "Henny Boo Boo," and she laughed as much as she had strength for. Only people who know and love me would understand why on Earth I would drive across the country with a chicken, and she got me completely.
My mom was really strict, and you didn’t dare cross her. I had a curfew, which was 11:00PM during high school on weekends, and if I came back at 11:01pm, I was going to have to sleep outside in the wet grass; that was that.
She was a tough negotiator because it was her way or no way. I slept outside a few times, but only a few.
It taught me to be on time, be respectful, and live by rules and boundaries, which were there for my own good.
Relationships between mothers and daughters can be complicated. She did things that drove me nuts, but I did the same with her I am sure. Being a mother isn’t easy.
To the end she was vintage Mom. She waited until my seven week tour was finished and I got back safely before she let go.
My last words to her were, "I Love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."
And I guess that was all she needed to hear. She had always said she wanted to go in her sleep, and so she did, I am grateful for that.
When a person is ill, and dying over an extended period of time, it’s hard on them and hard on us. It’s painful to know they are ready to leave their human suit and move on to their spiritual life but aren’t able to exit until they are called.
When they finally do get to go home, it leaves those of us who loved and knew them feeling alternately sad and relieved all at once. The sadness seems to prevail after the initial shock wears off, but this is an appropriate emotion for the monumental loss of a loved one.
I feel blessed to have her as long as we did.
Motor response is a funny thing, as in the past dew days I have woken up and said, “Oh gosh I need to call Mom, its getting late back on the East Coast,” only to remember that the time change from here to Heaven is not nearly as long.
I simply stop what I am doing, go outside and talk to her. It’s instantaneous. If I stop and quiet my mind, I can feel her presence in my heart and she feels good there. She is now part of the great I am, at one with everything and present everywhere in my life.
I am grateful she lived to see me accomplish my goals, and dream new dreams. She was so happy to see me fall in love and marry a great man, as a mother always wishes that for her children.
Mary, this one’s for you. Thank you for bringing me into this big world, I am so grateful for my life.
Imagine all of the people who wouldn’t be here if not for you! It’s going to be weird not to have to remember to send you a tube of Pounce once in awhile…
Enjoy Heaven My Angel.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
-Your "Little Thing"