Free On the Inside

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Happy Easter/Passover!

I am on a flight home from Houston, Texas, I just had a whirlwind week there. I stayed with my friends Bill and Stephanie Loyd, who I call my "spiritual parents."  God is so good to me, I went there to speak to the women’s ministry at Joel and Victoria’ s Lakewood church, and make a prison visit to speak to the female inmates at Plane State Prison (big shout out and a special thank you to Bill Loyd of Prison Fellowship out of Houston for allowing me to volunteer)

As a bonus, I was blessed to be asked to be Victoria’s special guest on her Sirius XM Radio show. I had never been around Victoria Osteen for more than a few minutes and I was knocked out by her unmistakable sincerity and care for the people who called in live. What an honor that was. (I always listen the their channel whenever I am in the car)  Oh, and PS? In addition to her remarkable personhood, she is also one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life.  

Since this Sunday is Easter/Passover, I wanted to dedicate this inspiration to the real reason we celebrate this holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I love my marshmallow peeps, malted milk ball bunny eggs, and the chocolate bunnies, (whose ears I eat off first) but it’s my favorite holiday because it is the day that Christ was risen.

No matter what you have ever done, where you have ever been, or whatever circumstances has caused you to feel pain and grief, please know that you are forgiven, you are loved, and you will always be. If you had a Father that was not present in your life, you have a father in Heaven that loves you no matter what. You are not your past (unless you choose to be) and there is always Hope.

I remember when I decided re-dedicate my life in 2007, I wondered if that meant I would lose my sense of humor and have some kind of personality transplant as a side effect. Well, I have even more of a sense of humor (I am as sassy as I always was) and I guess I would consider myself to have somewhat of an outrageous personality, the only difference is that I now have inner peace. I know why I am here, I am not afraid of much, and, my life now makes sense. I don’t need people to believe exactly what I do (although it’s nice when they do) and I do not judge a person for anything. It’s not my gig. I treat everyone with kindness (not always easy when people are being ugly) because I know that God is in the front row seat of my life. He is my accountability partner and I love having him there.


In prison, I had a few hundred girls come to the service who are all but forgotten. For a woman going to prison, she not only loses her dignity and freedom, but most of the time, has no one waiting for her when she gets out. Not too many visitors either. They have nothing. Many don’t have even a toothbrush, toothpaste or deodorant. They do not have air conditioning or heat in many cases. They are frightened, insecure, and filled with shame. they are raised with no family, neglected, and abused in every way possible. They hardly had a chance to begin with.  there is hardly any rehabilitation in prison and the reason people end up back int he system is because life on the outside is too hard. No education, no home,  no help, no hope. I want to help them at least be free on the inside.

Going to visit and speak to them about God, Hope, how to change their thinking, how to be there for each other instead of fighting for everything, gives my life more purpose, and above all, it gives me a sense of true gratitude. No matter what may be going on, I am free.  In every sense of the word. All is well in my world. Like everyone, I have issues and things crop up, but it’s manageable. I have perspective.

Remember always, The Bible says “With God, all things are possible” Not some. ALL.

I hope you will celebrate this weekend with your loved ones, and feel the love of God right down to your toes. Do you have place to sleep? DO you have a roof over your head? Do you have food on the table? You are blessed. You are loved. You are here for a purpose, a reason and a season. All in due time.

I Love You!


1 comment


Hi Cat,
It was a pleasure finding your website. Used to get regular mail from you at one time. Still use some of your lip gloss.
Enjoyed the above article, as I know you’re a religious woman. However, you called it Easter/Passover, yet not one word was mentioned about’s not the same holiday as Easter! I am definitely a believer in G-d, so we do share that!!

P.S. Miss you on the Soaps!!

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