"BE GONE, YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE!"
-The good witch to the bad witch in 'The Wizard of Oz'
Being around a lot of people all the time has its challenges. You have to learn to get along with all kinds of personality types, and learn a person’s communication modes. Some people learn best by hearing (audio learning), some by watching (visual learning), and some by touch (tactile learning). We all have a different language, in life and in love, and our success as communicators comes when we learn how the people around us access information and then speak their "language."
Some people do not get excited about things in general, or at least it’s fair to say, that they don’t express it as excitement. For those of us who express ourselves easily and readily, this can leave us feeling that the person just doesn’t care, or that we have done something wrong or that we do not bring out the best in them. In fact, they DO care, it’s just how they relate, and doing something different would require some self-work, which is ALWAYS a great idea.
Others are crazy makers that don’t feel good unless they are badgering and torturing others with their personal brand of drama and chaos. It brings them the attention they crave, even though it’s negative attention. They don’t care if it’s negative, because if they were well thinkers, they would go about it in a kinder, gentler way, trusting the Universe to work it out in their favor and spreading good will.
They believe badgering seems to get them what they want, but that’s only because they wear people out. These are lonely people, but they are lonely by their own hand. None of us want to actually engage with these folks. The sole reason they get their way is because the tortured just want the torturer to stop torturing.
What an awful way to get your way. Unfortunately, any satisfaction the torturer might get is short lived because of their bottomless pit of neediness. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to use my ‘Energy Vampire’ skills, but after dealing with one such vampire this week, I’m sure up to speed now.
Then there are the joyful. People that wake up happy, go to bed happy, and are great people to be around. They experience hard times, grief, and anger, which are all normal emotions, however, they don’t let the negative emotions they feel overtake their lives. They know how to re-route their focus, and go there instead. Happy people know the secret; they mind their own business.
Continually saying yes to things you’d rather say no to can make a person feel angry and even anxious. Carefully choosing the people we spend our time with is very important to our well being. Learn to look down the road a bit. Try people on, and choose positive people to spend time with. Negative people will pull you down, and who has time for that?
Sometimes we are forced to be around difficult people, say in a work environment, but learn to manage your emotions, and you’ll discover that eight hours will not only go by in a flash, but the energy/emotional vampire won’t have any power over you. It’s like hanging garlic around your neck, without the odor. It only gets easy when you work on it, but worth every bit of effort you put in. We get out what we put in. Managing your emotions DOES work. After you begin to do the work, it gets easier and easier, and then it becomes your personal default setting.
Remember my three favorite words in the English language after I LOVE YOU are AND SO WHAT?
And you don’t have to say it, you can just think it, and it frees you like you can’t imagine. Sometimes people and situations are just impossible, but you don’t have to be taken down. Decide what kind of life you want to live and learn to master it. It’s not necessary to take on other people’s angst. It’s rarely about us, so let them play in their own sandbox, they will eventually tire and move on to the next victim.
It’s a beautiful world when we learn to be happy on the inside and play with our own kind.
PS. Two weeks until the GET YOUR FIRE BACK SEMINAR! I’m so excited!